Blogging would never even be on my menu list if I hadn't been bored to the extreme by one of those occasional first weeks of the semester. My friend told me that blogs are meant to write arbit stuff, stuff really vetti people read. But once again my self-acclaimed ego would never let me write arbit so I dug this crazy topic, a topic that psychiatrists would like to see. So any psychiatrists reading this are kindly excused.
Critics are usually mistaken for people who just devote time to call things as rubbish or bad by laymen like me. So when the idea of what really critic became apparent to me I started to notice that actually I had been my critic for so many long years now. From a very young age I was against people often asking others to judge something than self-judgement. I was this little boy who used to think solely on two things: deriving satisfaction and doing justice to work. Works which met both of them eventually became my favourite. That brings to the exact point that I started to explore, whether by actually self judging myself too well I have actually posted my own constraints.
As previously mentioned I really like to be a good evaluator(or after my later findings 'A critic') of myself. I always sat down and evaluvated my strengths and weaknesses every odd occassion and then things usually fit themselves nicely into place assisted of course by several other factors. Year after year somehow or the other the so-called 'plan' fired into position and the so-called 'things I must try this' really fizzed out. But everything was going according to script and the story goes on and on if had not realised the blunt truth that I was going nowhere with this attitude.
By evaluating myself I had actually placed so many constraints on myself that untying them is really becoming difficult. To very basic level constraints to very hard complicated ones I really screwed what should have been a simple straight forward life that I never lived. I dream of playing any sport but God made a natural constraint on my respiratory system but instead living to cope with it I decided to take it for granted that I was not meant to be instead what if /challenge.
Had I been more open to heart rather than the brilliant mind which told me “Hey come on, you are pathetic in that field, why risk getting embarrassed?”. Oh there are so many things I regret now but what's the point? All that has been done is done. Well till date I have never been able to get over it. Only the way forward is what I look forward to. Hopefully this article serves as a remainder to me each time I try to repeat it. And special thanks to people who have managed to read through this article which seems like a boring lecture but I hope the message does linger.
No comments:
Post a Comment